Sittin with my dear old friend talking over coffee
His eyes were sad, I told him so and I was glad to listen

He said
You know the story last we sat here many years ago
The worries that I raised about my daughter
What's come to pass it's hard to say, I wrote it down instead
Then he handed me the letter and this is what it said

When my wife and I were young we were blessed with loving children
Secure in knowing their parents loved them
But in her growing solitude my daughter had a feeling
That nobody was around for her to talk to

Unbeknownst to us she developed a kind of dread
- Misunderstandings overcame her
It took many years to realize that her fears were there instead
That the events she buried deep inside would claim her

Rather than go into these I'd like to share her journey
Of the pain and struggle it took to overcome them
The courage that she needed as she faced her quiet demons
Helped us understand how brave and wonderful she is

She wrote me this
Oh Dad, oh Dad I've hung on by my fingers
For so long I can't even feel the callous
I've wasted all these years running from my ghosts
And I've been selfish, cruel, and very careless

I wish I'd been better and I ask you for forgiveness
But I know that I really don't deserve it
You and mom were always there, I just couldn't see it
And now I wouldn't blame you if you hate me

Since we spoke I realize I'm alone and still a child
Even though I'm grown and 32
So please my daddy take my hand, I can't go on alone
I love you and I worry you don't love me

Looking up he turned to me, his face was wet with tears
Last year she disappeared, we thought we'd lost her
I’ve worried that she'll never find the peace that she is seeking
Now I feel I finally understand it

I reached across the table and took his hands in mine
I squeezed them and told him, I'm so sorry
I'm glad you shared your burden I know it took a lot
You know I’ll always be here when you need me

Then he smiled at me and squeezed
And told me that he knew that
And said we'll carry forward
It'll be ok

We rose and went outside, the day was clear and sunny
Breathing in the air we shared a moment
As something passed between us we hugged and said goodbye
A sense of depth I hadn't really noticed

Life is full of pain yet it's also full of promise
I held these thoughts together as I wandered in the air


credits:
I'm on voice, guitar and fretless bass. Co-produced with Fred Gillen Jr.

released November 24, 2020